Building Confidence with Gentle Parenting - From My Heart to Yours By Rohini Chugani

If there’s one thing I’ve learned on this beautiful (and let’s be honest—messy!) journey of motherhood, it’s that confidence doesn’t come from pushing our kids to be like everyone else—it comes from showing them it’s okay to be exactly who they are.

I have two boys—one is 7, the other just about to turn 5 - and they couldn’t be more different from each other or from the kids in their classes. My oldest is all about construction play, reading and watching wildlife documentaries. He’s sensitive, observant, and not super into sports, which makes it hard sometimes to connect with other kids at playtime who are all about football.

My youngest son? Oh, he’s a walking tornado, he struts into every room like it's a football pitch and he’s about to score the winning goal - shirt half-tucked, hair wild, snack in hand like a trophy. He knows exactly what he wants: peanut butter toast (cut in triangles, not squares), the blue water bottle (not the green one), and to be first. Always. At everything.

The other day, my oldest came home looking defeated and said, “Everyone always wants to play football… and I don’t… And I don’t have any friends.”. Even though I do know he has plenty of friends - my heart cracked a little.

Here was a time when “gentle parenting” came into action - Instead of correcting his feelings or trying to “fix” the problem. I sat with him and I said, “It’s okay to feel sad,” and, “It’s brave to be different.” We talk, we hug, we name the feelings. I reminded him that he can like different things to his friends - it makes them interesting.

Confidence doesn’t happen overnight. But every time we choose to respond gently - instead of reacting harshly - we water the seeds of resilience and self-worth. And every time our kids feel seen and accepted by us, they get a little bolder in being themselves out in the world.